vena cava

by Kirby Criddle

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06:35
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05:10
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05:05
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05:42
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01:47
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released February 14, 2009

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Kirby Criddle Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Kirby Criddle would surely steal your heart, if you hadn't already handed it over. This beguiling prairie girl makes music for late nights, for lovers and friends, and for you when you feel alone. You can feel it in your bones; this is music for your whole body. Eli Temple, Jeffrey Popiel and Amanda Proznik add depth and dimension to create a whimsical forest-folk soundscape. ... more

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Track Name: to the teeth
she's so serious, i can't get past the walls
even if i tried, even if i wanted to at all
i think she'd know like she always seems to go
and she's a shell of what she must have been like
and if i tried, even if i waited all night
i couldn't know why she always seems to go

and on her lips i lay my secrets bare to the teeth

and i'm so nervous, i can't look her in the eye
even if i tried i'd be scared of what i'd find
i know she knows why she always seems to go
and we're not serious, we're trying to figure it out
and it's twice a month i go to her to lay me down
and it never fails, she's always sleeping on the couch when i go

and on her lips i lay my secrets bare to the teeth

and she asks is my house too small
and i reply it's not the size of your house that matters at all
but the size of the space that you have in your heart
and the love that you make right here in the dark
and when you realize that your light is the art we've been searching for you won't be unsure
Track Name: the driving song
got into the car i turned off all the lights
i was so terrified i drove so fast so far
got into the car i turned off all the lights
i was so terrified i drove too fast too far

i learned to drive in the dark
fingers fumbling nervously
stumbling towards ecstasy
what was i so afraid of?

got into your heart i turned off all the lights
i'm still trying to hide we grow so fast so far
got into your heart i turned off all the lights
i'm still trying to hide we grow too fast too far

i learned to love in the dark
fingers fumbling nervously
stumbling towards ecstasy
what was i so afraid of?

being inside your own skin can be the best medicine sometimes
so scared of vulnerability regret accountability but why lie
you're not your mind you're not all mine
you're not yours
Track Name: death of you
i don't understand how she held your heart in her human hands
and she let it go to waste
i guess i'll never know how she could bear to let you go
but i guess this is how the heart breaks

but before it breaks you see it in your eyes
it bends and tilts and shifts and knots come untied
and i could be the death of you if i tried

it's a mystery why we need someone else to set us free
from crying and dying alone in the dark
but it's so easy to see i was made for you and you for me
but i can't say i'll never break your heart

so don't look down the ground's so far beneath you now
i've come undone for what i thought i wanted
i'm not cut out for this endless pretending how
i'm not proud of what i've become as i'm coming down
and don't look back she's so far beneath you when she's sad
you've come undone for what you thought you needed
and don't forget don't let me be one more thing you regret
not knowing if we were worth the fight if we tried
Track Name: the first time
i could say i was everything you wanted but i know i was selfish
i was so tired i was too tired
ribcage to cage we lay awake in want but i am too selfish
so i lied there so i could lie

it's been so long since i felt that safe
i wish i knew how to feel you that way
engaging us in waving us on holding it in taking you home
won't be too long now

we go to the west coast to feel safe
we go to the west coast to feel brave
we go to the west coast to feel okay

and i could pretend things are easy holding on taking off but it's not fair
i am so tired i am too tired
i wake five times to find there's no one in the bed but the sheets are wet from tears
i had to cry because i lied to myself

they say you always remember the first time
Track Name: january
tune my strings while the phone rings
i've always wondered why you look at me that way
through your deep ocean glasses with my half prone heartstrings
i know we don't see the same
collect my thoughts undo the knots
let my guard down while you look the other way
in your heart's prairie stillness while the wind eats us for dinner
i know i've never felt so safe

saving myself for january when our love will grow a body
and starry eyed we'll walk provinces wide
and i'll hold you while you sleep sound tonight

turn out the lights we'll be our own tonight
your fingertips light paths of rightful entry to my skin
i feel like a mountain you're the lone tree that's found a way
to root deep for winter before cold sets in
Track Name: knots in my stomach
today was a different day i realized my heart was yours
and i wouldn't ever ask wouldn't ever want it back
tonight will be a different night now i know that i am yours
i'll be sleeping all alone knowing that you won't

knots in my stomach leave me tongue tied when you have me

and yesterday was different too you were here before the storm
though it was raining outside the sun was shining in your eyes
and now my whole life is different no more meaningless existence
but my aching chest is bereft of the heart you took with you when you left

knots in my stomach have me tongue tied when you leave me

and i guess it's not okay that there are things i wanna say
i haven't said i haven't mentioned that i know
but sometimes people have to go and until then we think they know
and then we realize they don't
Track Name: the harvest
i started as a seed in the hole in the ground in my head
you came after me we eloped without a sound we rushed it
now i'm all limbs all hands all eyes all feeling
you say i'm all heart like it's a bad thing

made my way as a sprout from the seed in the hole in the ground
you say when i came out i wasn't me i was bold i was proud
now i'm all fists all mouth all talk all aching
tell me i'm all heart like it's a bad thing

we all need to grow

i became a stalk from the sprout from the seed in the hole
i would lay and talk take it down let's see what i know
i know i'm all mind lacking logic full of panic no strings
they say i'm all heart like it's a bad thing

i became a flower from the stalk from the sprout from the seed
became afraid that our love would walk right out on me
i know you're all mine full of logic now i panic cause the strings
pull on my heart like they're attacking

beauty comes from ordinary soil
so why don't we see it?
Track Name: this illusory madness
and sometimes i wish i knew more about the origin of order
this illusory madness sovereign if you take it all away
could we be satisfied knowing we're not needing any more
could we know we're secure enough to bear our souls and stay

we strip away expectations like we take off our clothes
retrace all the aching so we can grow
and we'll take off our skin and dance in our bones
make love til we turn to gold

let's wear it out
and i should say i'm sorry cause i don't need to whine
and i should say i'm sorry cause i didn't mean to mind